Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Eric Lawson


1 blood-stained, sliced up clown costume

3 pairs of rainbow-striped socks

1 pair of neon-yellow parachute pants (“It’s Hammer time!”)

1 pair of knee-high “fuck me” boots

1 over-sized, multi-colored sweater. A Cosby sweater!

1 pair fingerless gloves I stole from a bum

2 shredded cop uniforms (don’t ask!)

1 zebra striped sleeping bag

4 pairs of boxers, complete with skid marks

6 pack of Heineken

2 napkins with smeared phone numbers from drunken girls I bought drinks for at some local bar last night

1 blood-stained bed sheet. Gotta wrap that dead clown in something, right?

1 pair of matching tee shirts with the giant, bold letters FBF (Fuck Buddies Forever) written in glitter across the chest

1 Gin and pasta stained Twister mat

17 blood-stained rags (dying clowns just keep on bleeding!)

Your mom (MILF!)

1 formerly felony-free record


It is a clear, crisp autumn night
The curtains are tightly closed
The living room lights are turned low
My favorite late-night TV show
Makes me laugh and smile
I am alert and resting comfortably
In my favorite recliner
A fan oscillates a welcomed breeze
I lift an ice-cold Heineken from the
Coffee table to my mouth
The soothing brew eases my mind
And my thoughts drift idly
My girlfriend, ever the trooper,
Hands me a slice of pumpkin
Pie with a side of ice cream
She gives me a gentle kiss before
Settling into her book
I take another drink and ask myself
Why there aren’t greeting
Cards that cover occasions
Such as this
My girlfriend mumbles something
Rhetorical about a weekend
Getaway with friends
The wind picks up and dies down
My mind wanders randomly
I recall childhood adventures and
Silently wished that I owned
Some mementos as keepsakes
I vow to create my own greeting
Card to commemorate this
Perfect moment, here, tonight
A log turns in the fireplace and
Crackles as the glow intensifies
And just when I thought it couldn’t
Get any better, my girlfriend
Drops to her knees in front of
Me, unzips my fly, and smiles
From ear to adorable ear


In retrospect,
Mixing crack-cocaine
Into the dancing bears’
Pre-show meal
Was not wise


From wise

It was a
Poor business decision,
Morally bankrupt,
Mentally uNsOuNd

The silver lining
Is that the

a - c - r - o

b - a - t - s

Have somehow learned
To do their
Death-defying routine

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